I have been shooting weddings for 7 years, and I am grateful to say that I have only felt truly unsafe a handful of times. How bad is that though?! Reread it. I am GRATEFUL to have only felt TRULY unsafe a handful of times. How often have I felt uncomfortable or on edge? A lot more. Then I ask, is it just me? Am I ‘too sensitive’? Am I ‘overreacting’? That was until this year when I was in a situation where I realised I was lucky to be walking away. It was a situation where someone else also experienced what I did and felt the same way, so it wasn’t ‘all in my head’. It was a situation where I realised it can happen to me, and I became determined to be more prepared in the future
How often have I felt uncomfortable or on edge? A lot more. Then I ask, is it just me? Am I ‘too sensitive’? Am I ‘overreacting’?
Here’s the thing though, the vast majority of situations are safe. Most people will mean you no harm. And this is a wonderful job full of amazing people. However, it is still a job, and we are still living in the real world. As women, we know what that means. I don’t need to explain it. If you’re someone who identifies as male, you might not understand the concepts of ‘fake phone calls’ or carrying your keys in your hand when you walk anywhere alone. Or that feeling of always having your guard up and being aware of your surroundings. Or maybe you do. I have also spoken to many men in this industry who have experienced challenging situations and felt uncomfortable at times. I really don’t want you to think this is fully gender specific. However, many men with whom I’ve had this conversation have been surprised or not affected in the same way as the women I have spoken to. Regardless of your gender, I believe safety at weddings is something we all need to make more of an open conversation. If you don’t feel like you are affected, maybe you can help support those that are. The more we talk about this, the better it will be. The more empowered we are, the better our industry is for everyone.
We work in an industry where we go to events full of strangers. We might know our couples, but we have no idea who we are walking into a room with. You throw in alcohol and a sense of frivolity, and things can take a turn quicker than you can expect. A lot of us shoot predominantly alone, and we carry very expensive equipment on our backs. Venues are often in isolated places, and we usually leave quite late at night in the dark. It is essential that we take some basic steps to protect ourselves, just like we would in any other profession or our day-to-day lives.
Tips for staying safe when shooting weddings
So here are some things I believe we should be considering to look after our safety on a wedding day:
1. Not working alone
This is easier said than done if you are a solo shooter. However, I really do see the benefit of working with a second photographer or, at the very least, recommending trusted vendors to couples. I always feel so much safer when I am working with trusted colleagues. I have incredible videographer colleagues who have kept me safe at times from drunken guests with sparklers or who have been a bit too much on a dance floor. If I know there are two of us, my anxiety is instantly eased. If I know it will be a big wedding, a long drive or a late night, I will bring an assistant or second shooter, often out of pocket. It’s worth the expense to feel safe and supported.
2. Location tracker
I always make sure my location tracker is on my phone and connected to a family member. I also have an Airtag in my camera bag for security for it and myself.
3. Personal safety alarms
I now carry an alarm on my keys that plays an ear-piercing sound. They are really inexpensive, and it brings me peace of mind. I got a multipack and gave them out to friends.
4. Leave before things get too messy
I have a cut-off in my contract of 9.30 pm. I don’t offer the option to stay later any more. This means I’m mostly getting away before things get too ‘messy’, too much alcohol is consumed, and people have completely lost the run of themselves. None of my clients have ever minded me leaving at this point, as I can always get the first few dances and enough pictures for the party section of their album.
5. Park close
Always park your car close to the venue in as well-lit an area as possible. If you have had to park further away, take the time to move your car closer before it gets dark.
6. Walking to your car
If possible, don’t walk back to your car alone. Don’t hesitate to ask a trusted staff member or another vendor to accompany you. However, if that’s not an option, I tend to call my husband or a friend until I’m in the car and the door is locked. I keep my keys handy (which also has the alarm), and I put my camera gear in the front seat beside me so I don’t have to open my boot or back seat.
7. Communicate before the day
Communicating with your couples before the day so that you have a good relationship makes it so much easier to have healthy boundaries on the day. After seeing a post on social media, I have had brides reach out to me before the day to let me know they really want me to feel at ease, and they have assigned a bridesmaid or a family member who I could go to if I felt uncomfortable. That one action alone made me feel so much better going into their wedding day.
8. Get your contract in order
It’s really important that you’re protected in every way. This means having clauses in your contract to protect you in the event that you are harassed or feel uncomfortable on the day. Of course, these are very difficult to enforce. It’s someone’s wedding day. But nothing is more important than your safety, and you are within your rights to protect yourself. Having clauses like this in your contract makes the expectations clear on both sides from the outset. Most couples may not have even considered that we would get verbally or physically harassed at a wedding, so having it in the contract is a good way of bringing awareness.
9. Being ‘professional’ does not mean being uncomfortable.
So often, we confuse professionalism with people-pleasing and confrontation avoidance. Ultimately, though, we are in the customer service industry, and it’s someone’s wedding day; the last thing we ever want to do or should do is make the day about us. However, there is a line. You can be professional and clearly assert your boundaries. You can be professional and look after yourself. You can be professional and honour your needs. It doesn’t have to be an either-or situation.
This is a hard topic to talk about, yet I really don’t think it should be. In any profession, there are codes of conduct. If you worked for an organisation, there would be risk assessments and a focus on health and safety. You would hopefully feel protected, and if you didn’t, there would be guidelines and practices to follow. Being self-employed, we don’t have that, so I think it’s important to create them for ourselves. You are the boss. You get to choose. Don’t let anyone make you think you can’t. And don’t ever put your needs or your safety last. That is not customer service. If a client can’t see that, I’d urge you to look at your clients.
As I mentioned at the top of this article, concerning incidents like this are rare. But the fact that they happen at all, let alone that many women regularly feel uncomfortable at weddings, is enough to make this an important topic of discussion. I would love to know your thoughts on this, and I’m sending love to anyone for whom this article is particularly triggering. I hope it lets you know you are not alone.
Lauren Chambers is an empathetic and cheerful wedding photographer based on Northern Ireland’s stunning Causeway Coast. With over seven years of experience, she captures heartfelt stories with emotional depth.
A proud mum who named her business LIT Photography (Lauren Isla Tyler Photography) after her children, Lauren has been a Folio Albums brand ambassador for two years. Known for her passion for storytelling and her warm, approachable nature, Lauren turns special moments into timeless memories.